tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27153503028116614862024-02-21T11:00:43.207-06:00Faith Steps with PastorESo many of us are searching for something.
Faith steps are a part of that journey.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.comBlogger492125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-43385193122796734562017-01-07T16:19:00.001-06:002017-01-07T16:19:33.110-06:00The Journey ContinuesScarlett and I just got back from a quick trip down to the "Valley of the Kings Sanctuary and Retreat" for exotic and rare animals. For Christmas our family got a 6-month membership there so that we could support their work as well as have a place where the girls, especially Scarlett, could be around some of the big animals that she loves.<br />
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It is about an hour drive down to the sanctuary, and on this cold day we were only there for about 30 minutes, so that gave me nearly two hours in the car. Two hours while Scarlett played on her iPod and I got to think.<br />
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To think about the last 48 hours and how this damn cancer journey never really ends.<br />
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On Wednesday I was back in to the UW Cancer center for my quarterly scan, and by now these have become routine. I was have CTs done every 3 months and MRIs every 6 months because everything seemed to be going so smoothly, and I assumed that this would be the same as it had over the past two years. <br />
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The scans went as smoothly as they had before. I took my happy pills and the MRI wasn't as horrible as it could have been (yeah lorazepam!), and friend stopped by and chatted with my before the CT and that was a great way to pass the time, and then Jennifer and I went in and got the results. The CT looked stable, but the doctor did say that he needed a specialist to look at the MRI and he would call me if anything looked out of the ordinary otherwise he would see me in four months.<br />
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The meeting ended on a very positive note - we wee going to push things out four months instead of three.<br />
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Then, the next evening, he called.<br />
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The radiologist had looked over the MRI and it turns out that one of the spots on my brain that we had zapped a couple of years ago was starting to grow and there were a "few" more spots appearing. <br />
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It meant that the cancer was active in my brain again. It was still stable in my bones and the rest of my body, but active in my brain. And the targeted radiosurgery was not an option this time because there were too many spots. So the options I have were limited.<br />
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The biggest issue with all of this is that there are very few drugs that cross the blood-brain barrier when it comes to treating cancer. The drug that I am on, while it is great for treat the cancer I have in the bones and the body below the neck, doesn't cross that barrier. There are two FDA approved drugs that work with my cancer, one of which somewhat crosses that barrier, one that does not. There are two immunotherapies for this type of cancer, and I am not sure how they relate to the blood-brain barrier. And there is one drug currently in trial that has had great success in crossing the blood-brain barrier.<br />
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So I am entering another trial. In talking with the doctor, this drug holds the best chance dealing with the spots in my brain medially at this time.<br />
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The other option is whole-brain radiation. This is where we would do radiation to the entire brain to try and wipe out all of the cancer cells in the brain. There is some success with this but the side effects include memory issues. This may need to happen down the road, but it will be a last resort.<br />
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So on Friday I was going in for my quarterly eye-ball shot (yes, I get a shot in my eye every 12 weeks because of there is a spot behind my left eye that is probably cancerous). They arranged for me to do some pre-trial testing since I was going in already, to get the ball rolling so I could get enrolled in the trail. It is also at this time that I learned I would be the fifth person in the trial at UW.<br />
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The other pre-trial test I get to do is a lumbar puncture. I am trying to think of this in the best possible light, by saying that I get to do a new test I have never done before, but I will admit that this is one that I am not looking forward to. I will do that one next Thursday.<br />
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So that is all the technical stuff, now the mental stuff.<br />
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I had gotten to the stage, in my head, that the tests were routine. I would go in, take the tests, have good results, then go on for another three months. For the past year especially I was taking the good results for granted. <br />
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This phone call was a harsh reminder, don't take anything for granted.<br />
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For me, there has a been a lot of darkness in the last 48 hours. A lot of sorry and anger and crying out and even despair.<br />
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But I also know that I won't stay in that place forever. It's only been 48 hours. That's why I wanted to make that drive with Scarlett today. I wanted to get out of here, to go do something she was excited about, because I wanted to see life through her eyes again. To hear her giggles of joy when a tiger chuffed at her, to watch he squirm when a lion roared at here. To see her eyes light up when she saw a ti-liger (one of 4 in the world) and be wowed with all of the animals in that place.<br />
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I needed to be around life today.<br />
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And that is the key, as this journey continues, to do the technical stuff, but to be surrounded by life. It is too easy to be taken in with "what could be" - I know, I have been. But to celebrate the moment, to give thanks for those who are walking with you and praying for you, to strive to live out the dreams you have while you can - to live, that is what we are all called to do on this journey.<br />
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I will probably be putting up some more blogs in the future, not only related to what is happening with my cancer journey but other faith related issues. I thank you again for your prayers and for your companionship on this journey. You are a blessing to me.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-36895386215130368052015-01-07T20:48:00.000-06:002015-01-07T20:48:11.133-06:00Living with CancerThe Friday before Christmas, Jennifer and I were at my oncologist's office getting the results of my most recent PET and MRI scans. I was most anxious about my MRI because I had recently had another round of radiosurgery and I was wondering how it worked out. <br />
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Turns out the spots on my brain were stable, so that was good.<br />
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The bad news came with the PET scan. A spot had lit up on my C2 vertebra. This meant that the drug I have been on for over 2 and a half years was starting to fail. It also meant we needed to start looking at new options.<br />
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So my doc met with the radiation oncologist that I have worked with before. This doctor did not want to do radiation because the machines here in Beloit were not detailed enough to do what he wanted them to do - so I was sent to UW for a second opinion and to talk options.<br />
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But I had to wait three weeks for the appointment. Normally I am good at waiting, but this time, knowing that the drug was failing, I was anxious.<br />
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Today Jennifer and I went up and met with 5 doctors over a 2 hour period. First the radiation oncologist and his resident met with us, then the radiation oncologist met with the medical oncologist and his 2 residents.<br />
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Lots of docs in one place.<br />
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Initially the radiation oncologist was prepared to do pinpoint radiation to the spot. He knew that I had radiation done to it before, but thought it was doable to have three high-dose sessions to that spot without many side effects.<br />
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Then he went and met with the other docs, came back in, and had changed his mind.<br />
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Because of the location of this spot, the danger of too high a dose or it getting into the spinal cord are high. If that were to happen, there is a decent chance I could be paralyzed or even die because of the radiation. <br />
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So radiation was moved to a last resort.<br />
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The other docs then started talking about systemic treatments - new drugs. There are a few new drugs out to treat this type of cancer, and a number in trials - all which is really good news for me.<br />
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The doc also said that if I had come to him with this 5 years ago I probably would have died by now. Treatments for this type of cancer are growing rapidly, so I just need to be able to jump from drug to drug for as long as I can.<br />
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But...<br />
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When it comes to trials I may not be eligible. Because of my Myasthenia Gravis, I may not qualify for trials. Also, if some of the new drugs are immunotherapies, which many are going that way, they may not be options for me because of the MG.<br />
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Also, they want me to stay on this drug for as long as I can. Even though this drug is failing they want me to stay on it, because the longer I am on it, the more likelihood more drugs will be developed and more options I will have.<br />
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The average person on Xalkori (the drug I am on) has it work for about 11 months. I have been on this for over 2 and a half years. I have gotten good results with it and I am hopeful I will have good results with the next drug.<br />
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But I have to wait. And this is hard for me.<br />
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I was ready to move to the next drug right now. I was mentally prepared for next step. But now I have to wait for this drug to fail even more, and that is not an easy place for me to be.<br />
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The doctor was quite clear - he expected this drug to fail for me in the next 3 to 9 months. I will get a PET scan in three months, and if it is the same I will stay on this drug, if it is worse, there are new spots, or if I have symptoms, then we will move to another drug. <br />
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Preparing myself mentally for a drug to fail, and knowing that I am living with active cancer in my body - is a hard pill to swallow.<br />
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Back when the spots first appeared in my bones, two plus years ago, the doctor told me that there was no cure for my cancer - all we could do was prolong life. I knew this, I know this, but I keep looking at all the new treatments that are coming and the possibilities that come with them, so I am hopeful.<br />
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But to wait to move to the next treatment so that my medication can fail more - tough mental shift to make.<br />
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So as I drove home I started to think about all of this.<br />
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- I have a great family I love to spend time with, who make me laugh, and I enjoy being with as much as possible.<br />
- I have a great job and work with wonderful people.<br />
- I know I have good friends and people who care for me, love me, and pray for me all the time - I am very grateful for all of you<br />
- I have no symptoms right now - so I need to continue to get out and enjoy all of the blessings of this great gift of life<br />
- There are new treatment possibilities - there may not be a cure, yet, but there are treatments and eventually I will get on a new one that will work for awhile <br />
- I know there will be dark and depressing and even painful times in the future, but those times will not dictate the rest of my life - there are too many blessings. Light truly does shatter darkness<br />
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So I will keep living in this waiting time, seeing how long the drug works but not dwelling on it. I have a great life to live, and I won't let this cancer crap get in my way.<br />
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Thank you for all your prayers and support. I hope to write more on here in the future - and not always about medical stuff :)Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-54967883699156943862014-03-20T19:20:00.001-05:002014-03-20T19:20:37.340-05:00Auto-Immune ConfirmedSo today I was officially told that I have an auto-immune disorder. This is not a big surprise. Ever since my primary doctor suspected it nearly two months ago I knew it would turn out this way.<br />
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She is that good of a doctor.<br />
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But I had to go through all of the tests and blood draws and everything else to confirm it. So that is what I have been doing.<br />
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And today's test, the one that confirmed it, well, to put it bluntly, it sucked.<br />
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I had an EMG. This is a test that measures the strength of your muscles and any change in the strength after exercise.<br />
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And to do this the shoot electric current through your body<br />
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Yup, it is an electric shock test. Not my favorite.<br />
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So you get into one of those stylish hospital gowns, then they start at your feet. They attach electrodes in a couple of places then shoot some electricity through you to see how your muscles respond.<br />
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And they work your way up the body.<br />
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Foot, calf, leg, arm, funny bone, then the face.<br />
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And they spent the most amount of time on my face.<br />
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The electric probe would shoot out five bursts, then I would have to do some facial exercises, then five more bursts. This went on for about 8 minutes.<br />
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The resident held my head in place so I wouldn't jerk too much.<br />
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So after all the tests I was talking with the doctor and she confirmed it was this auto-immune disorder. Then she said, "I knew it was that from the beginning, but I had to do the tests to confirm it."<br />
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Wonderful.<br />
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So I am starting on a new medication, hopefully it will make a difference. After four weeks I will meet with her again and re-evaluate. If the medication is not working as well as expected, then I will move to another medication. At this point she thinks that medication should take care of it.<br />
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And she did say that hopefully in not too long I will be able to get rid of the eye patch.<br />
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That gives me hope.<br />
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So I ended my day with hope, and that is a great way to move forward.<br />
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Thank you for all the prayers and support, I will continue to keep you updated.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-35912706269591952162014-03-18T20:09:00.002-05:002014-03-18T20:09:46.656-05:00Thursday another test, Today dealing new realitiesOn Thursday I will be missing a few of my work meetings to go back to Madison for an EMG. From what I understand, this is a test to determine the strength of my muscles, especially the muscles that relate to my eyes. It is also the test that will definitively tell me if I have Myasthenia Gravis or not.<br />
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I am really looking forward to getting those results. I want the diagnosis and I especially want to start the treatments. This has been going on a long time and I am ready for a step forward.<br />
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Having said that, I have started to notice that I truly do live in a new reality now. With all of the health issues that I have faced over the years, there have been very few, if any, physical effects on me. After cancer surgery I was doing a weddding a week later. After chemo I was back in the office within 48 hours. After radiosurgery, I was at a congregational meeting the next night.<br />
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Nothing has slowed me down.<br />
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But now, there is a new reality bearing down on me.<br />
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First I have to state, nothing big is really changing. I am still doing all my work, I am still traveling to all my meetings, I am still taking the girls to all of their swimming and tennis lessons. I am even in Chicago right now for three days of meetings.<br />
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But I am noticing that my eyes are getting tired much faster than they have in the past.<br />
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I have to take breaks from the meetings to close my eyes for a few minutes. It takes me longer to read things because my eyelids droop more. When I talk on the phone I rest my eyes so I can be ready for what is next.<br />
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It's not a huge deal, but it is a change. And it is a change I don't like.<br />
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Now I am hopeful that once I start treatments this will go away. I am hopeful that I will eventually lose the eypatch and go back to what was normal for so much of my life. I am hopeful.<br />
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But right now, this is the reality I live in.<br />
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All of us go through changes throughout our lives, including physical ones. And I think many of us struggle with these changes. Maybe it is the loss of our youth, maybe it is the fact that we just can't do what we used to be able to do and that frustrates us.<br />
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One of these changes is happening to me right now, and I am trying to find ways to embrace it rather than fight against it.<br />
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Oh, when I start treatments I will be fighting like crazy to get things back to normal, but right now, I am going to try my hardest to embrace this change and see what good might be able to come out of ir.<br />
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For example - since I need to rest my eyes more often, I am going to use this rest time as reflection time. I am going to ask myself - where have I seen God so far today?<br />
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When I am reading and start to get frustrated with my tired eyes, I will pause where I am and think back to what I just read, so that I engage with the book a little bit more.<br />
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And when I am no the phone with my eyes closed, I will push away the desire to multitask and concentrate on the person I am with.<br />
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I don't like this reality, but I have decided to use it to slow down my life a little.<br />
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And who knows, when things go back to normal with my eyes, maybe this slowed downway of doing things will continue.<br />
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So tonight, may all of you be blessed with open eyes to the blessings you have where you are.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-42850043596977347942014-03-12T18:00:00.000-05:002014-03-12T18:00:08.428-05:00A Shot in the Eye, Abnormal Results, and an Auto-Immune Disorder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I haven't posted much since the radiosurgery because I wasn't quite sure what to say. There have been a lot of doctor visits, more tests, and a possible diagnosis, but not anything concrete yet.<br />
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So here is where I stand:<br />
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I meet with the Radiosurgery doctor tomorrow. There is not much to talk about since I have not had another MRI yet to see how successful the surgery was. I was told that the MRI needs to wait a couple of months to see how successful the process was. So I will wait and assume that the tumor was blasted away.<br />
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The eye issue is still there. I wear a patch pretty much full-time now. The only real issue I have has to do with steps. I have a hard time judging the depth of the steps so I have become a big user of handrails. <br />
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The fluid behind my eye is decreasing, but not gone. So every time I see my eye doc in Madison I get a nice little shot in the eye to help dry the fluid out. They numb it up nice, so it really isn't all that painful. There is a possibility that if the discoloration behind the eye every grows that I may need a special type of radiation to deal with it, but the is not something we are considering now.<br />
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As for the double vision and drooping eye lid, it appears that my main doc was right, again. When I first saw her, before any of the tests, she made an educated guess that it was Myasthenia Gravis. This is an auto-immune disorder. It is not related to my cancer at all. It is a new, and rare, disease that has reared its ugly head in my life. I have had a number of blood tests that were highly abnormal and are starting to confirm this diagnosis. Next week I will have an EMG to test the muscles and confirm it.<br />
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There is no cure for Myasthenia Gravis, but there are treatments. The treatments vary from surgery to blood filtering to medications. With the treatments there is hope that the muscles in my eyes will work normal again and I can hold of the symptoms for a long time.<br />
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Once again, I realize just how special I am.<br />
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Most of the time I am pretty upbeat about everything. I enjoy what I am, doing and the activities the girls have us running to. I am busy and, I think, doing some good work. <br />
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But there are days that I am tired of all the doctor visits, the tests, and the waiting. To go a month without a doctors appointment is a dream. <br />
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And now we are in Lent, one of the seasons of the church year I appreciate the most. And it is this seasonal trek that keeps me grounded as I deal with all of the health stuff.<br />
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I will post more as I know more. As for now, my you always be blessed by having your eyes opened to gifts you have in your lives.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-7066895804406398302014-02-06T09:44:00.001-06:002014-02-06T09:45:39.895-06:00Spending the day with screws in my headYesterday was Radiosurgery day, and it was definitely a new experience. Overall the day went very smoothly, and I have very little pain today.<br />
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The day started around 9:30 when I got checked into my hospital room. After getting an IV running, I was brought to the basement of the hospital to have a frame installed onto my head. I was not sure what to expect with all of this, but it was simple and rather painless process.<br />
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They loaded me up with Valium and other fun things. Then, after explaining the procedure to me, the doctor came in, put some numbing agent on four spots on my head, and literally screwed this metal frame to my head. A couple times they had to stop and add more numbing agent, but it only took about 10 minutes. Below are a few pictures of how it turned out.<br />
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After the frame was put on I was then hauled in to have CT done of my head. The hardest part of this process was lying down and getting up again. The frame, while not that heavy, changed my balance and I needed support getting up and down.<br />
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I have to say that there was a nurse and an intern with me at this time who were amazing. The nurse had been doing this for quite awhile and was great at her job. The intern wanted to see how it was all done, and she demonstrated a great bedside manner. I appreciated them both a lot.<br />
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After the CT, I was brought upstairs and allowed to eat. Jennifer and her parents had come to spend the day with me, so we sat in my little room, talking and passing the time. I was given a few pain meds for a headache that appeared, but overall there was very little pain.<br />
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But eating lunch was a little funny.<br />
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First I had to find out how to order lunch. That involved calling the cafeteria and placing an order.<br />
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Putting a phone to my ear. With a frame on. That didn't really happen to well. Luckily my father-in-law was in the room so I just pointed at what I wanted and he called it in.<br />
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The nurse also warned me not to get an apple. That made a lot of sense since there was no way I could get the apple to my mouth.<br />
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For the next three hours I just sat in the room, talking, Facebook posting, and listening to those around me. A little after 3:00 I was brought down to the radiation machine, again in the basement of the hospital.<br />
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I thought the next part would take over an hour. Turns out it only took about 15 minutes.<br />
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They loaded me into the machine, bolted me to the table, and then I have 5 arcs of radiation shot into my brain. each arc only took about 2 minutes. Between arcs they came in and readjusted me so they could come at a different angle.<br />
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Then I was done. The got me off of the table, brought me back to the first room and the nurses unscrewed the frame. Then Jennifer and her parents came in, and off we went.<br />
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I had enough Valium that I was feeling pretty good at the time, but a little later I started to get a bit of a headache. We were home by 5:30, the girls came home a little after 7:00 from Kid's Club. We put them to bed and not much later I was in bed too.<br />
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This morning I am feeling fine. I had a little headache and little tenderness on my head, but that is mostly gone now. I go back in a few weeks to see what is going on, but there isn't anything pressing right now.<br />
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Overall I feel good about the procedure. They knew what there were doing and there was very little doubt that they could destroy this tumor. And I look forward to the confirmation that it has been blown up.<br />
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We are still dealing with the eye issue. I see an eye doctor on Monday, and hopefully something will come from that that.<br />
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Thank you for all you prayers. More to come later.<br />
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ErikErik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-49284381252243679782014-01-25T07:55:00.001-06:002014-01-25T07:55:45.520-06:00Targeted Radiation - Zapping the Brain<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Yesterday Jennifer and I went to Madison to meet with the Neurological Oncologist. <br />
<br />
I was reminded how great UW is when it comes to treatment. The resident, specialist and nurses all took their time, answered every question we had, and made us feel comfortable in what is a stressful time.<br />
<br />
The resident spent the most amount of time with us. He went through the scans with us and talked about the variety of treatments that have developed over the years when it comes to cancer in the brain. Radiation has radically changed over the years and has a very high success rate.<br />
<br />
He did confirm that the cancer has moved to my brain and there is a 1.2mm spot. He talked about it being fairly big, but when the specialist said it wasn't that big when he came in. The pill I am on works very will with the cancer in most of the body, the problem is the central nervous system. There the pill is not as effective and the cancer traveled to my brain and set up shop.<br />
<br />
They used to do only all brain radiation, but now that is not the norm when there is only one spot. Now they do Radiosurgery when is a very targeted type of radiation with a very heavy dose. <br />
<br />
During this time they went over my eye issues as well and they are stumped. There is no reason for the eyes to have double vision, so I will be meeting with another doctor to get prisms in my glasses as they try to figure the eye stuff out.<br />
<br />
So, the process I will be going through it not as intense as when I had surgery to remove part of my lung, but not as simple as the other radiation I have done.<br />
<br />
Next Saturday I will be having another MRI. The one in Beloit was not as detailed as the doctor likes, so I need one with 1mm slices of the brain.<br />
<br />
Then, tentatively scheduled for Wednesday, Feb. 5, I will go through the radiosurgery process. In the morning we will go to Madison and I will have a frame attached to my head. It will be screwed on, but supposedly all I will feel is a little pressure. I will then spend time in a hospital room with the frame on like a crown as they prep for the procedure.<br />
<br />
Then they will be doing a CT scan which they will combine with the MRI and find the exact point to radiate. After they are set I will spend an hour or so bolted to a radiation table where they will be zapping this tumor from a variety of angles. During this time I will be some meds to keep me calm.<br />
<br />
After the radiation I will have the frame removed, then I can go home. It is a one day procedure. The next day I may have a dull headache but that is about it.I will also have follow-up MRIs and PET scans to make sure that they got it.<br />
<br />
A lot has happened very fast. I have been reminded, again, that there is a blessing here. The cancer is in a place where the symptoms should be motor function problems, and I don't have any of those. They found the spot because of something totally unrelated, like when they first found the cancer. The Spirit is blowing, and I am blessed that they found it.<br />
<br />
There is something they can do, and that is a blessing as well. As the specialist told us, if this happened 10 years ago, I wouldn't be here. The treatments have come so far in a short time. And I know that there will be more breakthroughs as we move forward.<br />
<br />
I do have to admit that there are times I am very frustrated, angry, and depressed that the cancer has come back. Once again, I thought we had this licked, at least for awhile longer, and I never expected it to go to the brain. But even more frustrating is the double vision and no answer for it.<br />
<br />
But even in all of those down times I know I am blessed because there is something that can be done. So go about my daily life, celebrating what I have, doing the work I love, and preparing for the next steps that I need to take.<br />
<br />
Prayers are always welcome, I will post more as things develop.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-38118907815997940722014-01-22T14:21:00.001-06:002014-01-22T14:21:09.788-06:00So...I get to have my brain zapped<br />
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<br />
So once again I have a health update for everyone via my blog.<br />
<br />
I have to admit, I am getting tired of this, but it is what is happening right now.<br />
<br />
So a couple of months ago I started to get some double vision. I wasn't sure what was going on, so I saw two eye doctors and the general thought was that I needed prisms for my glasses. I tried it, and it didn't work. So back to the eye docs for more tests.<br />
<br />
Two weeks ago we discovered a build up of fluid behind my eye. It was believed that there was some scar tissue that built up there from when the cancer was behind my eye. That scar tissue was not letting the fluid drain, and so I got a build up of fluid that affected my vision.<br />
<br />
So to fix this I had a shot in my eyeball, which was a treat let me tell you. The thought was after one week everything would be back to normal.<br />
<br />
It wasn't.<br />
<br />
So last Friday I had a regular appointment with my primary doctor, the one who discovered the cancer the first time. As we sat and talked she saw that my right eye was drooping. This was a sign for more tests and a meeting with the neurologist.<br />
<br />
They got me in right away. He ran a few little tests, the had some blood drawn and scheduled me for an MRI.<br />
<br />
With my fear of tight spaces, I was really not looking forward to that. But hey, you do what the doctors say.<br />
<br />
So Monday morning I took my happy pills and went and had the MRI. The vision was still bad, but I was hoping for something.<br />
<br />
I almost forgot - two weeks ago I had a PET Scan and everything was clean.<br />
<br />
So today Jennifer and I went in to get the results of the MRI. Turns out I have a 1.2 centimeter spot on my cerebellum. It appears to be the cancer that has returned in the brain. The PET scan didn't get it because PET scans don't work on the brain.<br />
<br />
But, this spot doesn't seem to be the cause of my eye issues. So I still have my double vision and no known reason for it.<br />
<br />
We then went to see my radiation oncologist. He had been in touch with the lung cancer specialist in Madison. She has seen two or three cases like mine where the pill is working well in all of the body except the brain.<br />
<br />
So the next step is to meet with a specialist in Madison. I will probably have a special type of radiation that focuses on this one spot. It is a one shot deal. They will go in on one day and blow up the spot. That should take care of it.<br />
<br />
I will also have an appointment with my eye doctor in Madison to see if we can figure out what is going on with the double vision. I don't really like wearing my pirate patch.<br />
<br />
Hopefully the radiation will take care of everything. They will do follow up MRIs but this is only one spot so they are very hopeful.<br />
<br />
As always, prayers are appreciated. Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-46528405097538187962013-07-21T08:08:00.000-05:002013-07-21T08:08:03.710-05:00Being a Worshipper<div align="center">
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<br />
Today is the fourth Sunday of our sabbatical, which means it is the fourth Sunday that we are worshipping in the pews (or chairs) as a family and not leading worship in one way or another.<br />
<br />
It is a weird experience.<br />
<br />
Sunday mornings are normally the busiest mornings of the week in our household, but during our sabbatical I have been able to sit back, do some devotions, drink coffee, watch the final round of the British Open, and let the girls wake up on their own.<br />
<br />
The rush of the morning has slowed down.<br />
<br />
A lot.<br />
<br />
And as weird as it is, it is also nice.<br />
<br />
The time that we have to eat together, worship together, just be together is a real blessing, and I am grateful for this time to just "be" with the family.<br />
<br />
I am grateful to be the dad in the pew who hears his daughter give a strange answer in the children's sermon and just smile and laugh.<br />
<br />
I am grateful to commune with my wife rather than give communion to my wife.<br />
<br />
I am grateful to hear the Word preached and not think about what has to happen next in the service.<br />
<br />
I am grateful to leave after the service and not wonder if I forgot to turn off a light or lock a door.<br />
<br />
I have been grateful to be a worshipper.<br />
<br />
And .. I am getting some great ideas to bring back when this sabbatical is over!Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-74096356106384557042013-07-14T06:54:00.000-05:002013-07-14T06:54:39.325-05:00Rodeo, Worship, and seeing old friends<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Two weeks ago we started our sabbatical by going back to Montana and celebrating the 100th anniversary of the first church I served. It was a wonderful, soul-filling trip.<br />
<br />
On the way out we visited some dear friends in Odin, MN. They are good friends of mine from seminary who I hadn't seen in way too long.<br />
<br />
We then went to Dickinson, ND. Due to the oil boom out there right now, that town is exploding. New buildings are going up everywhere. It was also in Dickinson that we got to go to a rodeo. It was Roughrider Days, so there were a number of activities going on, and the evening ended with bucking broncs, barrel racers, and mean bulls.<br />
<br />
I loved it.<br />
<br />
Back when I lived in Montana I went to rodeos quite often. The power of the animals, the courage (or craziness) of the cowboys, the speed of the horses...all of it amazed me. The girls enjoyed it, but not as much as dad did. Scarlett was upset though, because she wanted to go out and ride on the horse and didn't understand why she couldn't.<br />
<br />
Luckily that was dealt with the next day.<br />
<br />
We then went to Savage for the 100th anniversary celebration, and it was wonderful. I recognized many of the people from when I was last there, in 2000. I was reminded that I am aging because the first child I baptized is taller than me. And I missed a few people who have passed on.<br />
<br />
After the service there was a nice lunch at the town hall, a time to visit and catch up. Then we went to a friend's ranch where the girls got to ride horses and we went for a hike.<br />
<br />
It was a great day.<br />
<br />
During my time in Savage I was reminded what a special place it is to me. It was here that I started my ministry, which meant I learned a lot by trial and error. I would come up with ideas and ways to share the gospel that may have been a little different, and they went along with it, forgiving me when I made a mistake, encouraging me as we moved forward, and showing me what grace is through their words and actions.<br />
<br />
Savage was/is one of those "thin places" for me, where I feel the power of God in a very profound way. I have memories of hiking the dirt roads with my dogs, hunting with my dad, and fishing the Yellowstone while celebrating this amazing creation that God has blessed us with.<br />
<br />
Savage is a place and filled with people who have left a mark on my soul, and when I drove in I felt the power of that place once again.<br />
<br />
I was reminded how much I miss that entire area out there. Making that trip through North Dakota and into Montana was making a trip home.<br />
<br />
Over the past few weeks, after returning to Wisconsin, I have been spending some time thinking about those "thin places." Places where we experience God is powerful ways. I believe we all have them, and they all touch us differently.<br />
<br />
Savage, the Dakotas, Montana, wide open spaces - all of these are thin places for me. What are some of your thin places?Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-21081413083746687932013-07-10T15:06:00.002-05:002013-07-10T15:06:59.188-05:00Taking A Knee<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Back when I played football in high school the coach would often gather us up and yell for us to "take a knee." Then he would go into his speech of the day.<br />
<br />
Whenever I heard the phrase "take a knee" I would think back to Billings Senior High and that coach.<br />
<br />
Except earlier this week.<br />
<br />
Earlier this week "take a knee" took a new meaning for me.<br />
<br />
A little background first - the medication that I take for my cancer has a number of side effects. Luckily I do not get many of them. Occasionally I have some vision issues, but they are minimal and go away quickly.<br />
<br />
But one thing that does happen is quite often I get light headed. It normally happens when I am getting up from the chair, but sometimes is delayed until I have taken a few steps.<br />
<br />
Earlier this week the girls were at school, Jennifer was off doing some work, and I was home alone. As I walked into the kitchen I was hit with a head rush.. It was one of the more severe ones I have had, and I had to take a knee in order to avoid losing my balance.<br />
<br />
It is a strange sensation realizing you have to do something to avoid collapsing.<br />
<br />
It passed quickly, as it normally does. But for a few minutes I remained on my knee, thinking about what had just happened.<br />
<br />
It is times like this, as rare as they are, that I reminded that I am still battling this cancer.<br />
<br />
I can go days and not think about cancer. I can take my pills, go to doctors appointments, and live my life pushing the idea of cancer to the back of my mind.<br />
<br />
But sometimes I am faced with a pretty blunt reminder. I am still fighting this disease.The fight is going well. I am in remission. But the battling is ongoing.<br />
<br />
So as I was down on that knee having this reminder take place, I was also reminded about how blessed I am. I am blessed not only in the medical advances they have made, but I am also blessed with the support, guidance, and love of those around me.<br />
<br />
And it is through them that I am blessed to see the face of God.<br />
<br />
Eventually I got up, and having forgotten what I was going into the kitchen to get, returned to the living room and spent some time writing down the names of all the people who are blessings to me. It was a tangible reminder of many ways God continues to be active in my little part of the world.<br />
<br />
So the next time you need to take a knee, why not spend some time down there and reflect on the people who are blessings to you.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-11214413644526084692013-06-27T07:42:00.002-05:002013-06-27T07:42:47.646-05:00Sabbatical starts with a sick child, leaking roof, and water in the basement <div align="center">
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<br />
<br />
This week we start a six-week sabbatical, and it kicked off with a bang. On the first day we were awakened at 3:00 am with a sick Scarlett. After getting her settled we went in the basement and found water due to the massive rains we have been getting. Then, after dropping Sierra off at summer school, I was led into the bedroom to see water marks on the ceiling. A tree limb fell and punched a fist sized hole through the roof.<br />
<br />
Today, all things are a little better. Scarlett is her normal busy self, the water in the basement is gone, and the hole has been repaired. <br />
<br />
So today, hopefully, the sabbatical really begins.<br />
<br />
The sabbatical is a time for us to take a break from the busyness of the church life, refresh and renew our souls a little, do some studying, and do some traveling with the family.<br />
<br />
Our first trip is to eastern Montana. We will be heading out to my first call, in Savage, MT, where they will be celebrating their 100th Anniversary. I am excited to go back to this church that helped to form me as a pastor and see the people. On our way we will be visiting some old friends, go to a rodeo (which the girls are almost as excited about as I am), and spend some time in the badlands (which I think is some of the most beautiful country around).<br />
<br />
I have a couple of books I plan on reading during this time, and I am looking forward to being able to travel and not worry about getting back in time for some work event. <br />
<br />
I will be updating our sabbatical journey over the next few weeks. Off we go...Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-40482786188940229272013-06-07T11:43:00.002-05:002013-06-07T11:43:31.431-05:00Moments<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
One of the things I have tried to do over the years is slow down and
look for those "God Moments" that pop up every once in a while. These
are the times when you see God at work in wonderful ways - sometimes
they are big moments, other times they are small little things. But they
are always moments when God shows up and does something that is either
unexpected or very much needed in our lives.<br />
<br />
These God
moments are a continual reminder that God has a deep interest in our
lives. It is not like God is out there, just sitting in heaven, watching
everything take place with amusement on his face, but rather he is
active and present in our lives. God cares about us. He has a deep,
loving, parental desire to be involved in what we do, and he wants to be
involved with us. God moments are those times when we see the face of
God appear - sometimes through others, sometimes just out of the blue.<br />
<br />
But
sometimes we miss these moments. I have written about this before -
sometimes we are so busy with everything going on in life that we miss
seeing God at work right in front of us. We get so consumed with the
daily grind that we miss the loving touch and gift of grace that God
gives to us.<br />
<br />
So, we are called to slow down. To take
time to look at the beauty of creation around us. To call an old friend.
To share a gift of grace with another. When we do this, we are more apt
to see what God is doing around us, to us, and through us.<br />
<br />
So
take some time today, slow down, and ask God - what are you doing
today, and how can I be a part of it. I am sure you will be amazed at
the answers you get.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-90190403312722478682013-06-05T06:21:00.004-05:002013-06-05T06:21:51.704-05:00Seeing God<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
I am a huge country music fan. I love the music, the lyrics, the style, etc. One of my favorite artists is George Strait. He has a new song out entitled "I Saw God Today." It is a great song about see the hand of God in both the big and the little things.<br />
<br />
I was listening to this song as I was driving back from Minnesota earlier this week and I started to think about all the places I saw God in the previous week - the time Scarlett grabbed my hand without me asking for it, when Sierra was practicing her pitching, got a strike, and smiled like crazy, the person who chased some garbage down the street, the joy of watching the girls and Jennifer plant flowers in the front yard and the list goes on and on.<br />
<br />
God is active in so many and different ways every day of our lives. Sometimes we miss seeing him because we are running, not paying attention, or just consumed by the busy-ness of our lives. But even when we don't see him, he is still there - doing what God does - loving, building up, caring for, blessing, etc.<br />
<br />
So today - where have you seen God? What has he been doing in and around your life? Take a moment and celebrate the gifts of God by seeing where he is and what he is doing with you. May we all see God each and every day of our lives.<br />
<br />Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-68272675078424276432013-06-01T07:24:00.000-05:002013-06-01T07:24:23.060-05:00Joy Comes in the Morning<br />
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<br />
This week our season of swim lessons is coming to an
end. Every year week take the summer off and then resume in the fall.
Sierra was amazing as usual, she is a wonderful swimmer.<br />
<br />
This
was Scarlett's first year of swim lessons, and she progressed a lot.
But Scarlett was also Scarlett, she love to play during lessons too.
There are times when she would stand on the edge of the pool and dance.
She was singing to herself, twirling around on the edge of the pool.
There were numerous times I had to tell her to stop so that she wouldn't
slip and fall in, and so that she would listen to her teacher.<br />
<br />
But
in those times when she was dancing, I saw a look of pure joy on her
face. She was loving her time at the pool, meeting new friends, and
dancing to some tune that was playing in her head. I loved watching it
happen.<br />
<br />
Joy is one of those things that we are short on
in our lives. We see the negative, we see the problems, we see and hear
things that tear all of us down. And joy is often lost in the rat race
we call life.<br />
<br />
Wouldn't it be great if we all had those
tunes playing in our heads, and we could just stand up and dance,
celebrating the joy of life?<br />
<br />
In the book of psalms
there is a line that says, "Joy comes in the morning." Quite often this
line is used to help get us through the tough times in life. But you
know what, the morning is here. The morning is now. We are given joy
right now because of what Christ has done for us - and we are invited to
celebrate God's many gifts with joy and celebration. Joy is here - but
do we see it?<br />
<br />
So today, may we all see the joy of life.
May we celebrate and dance and sing, because we are so blessed and
given so many opportunities in our lives. May we have our eyes opened to
joy.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-55654443016185636852013-05-31T05:58:00.000-05:002013-05-31T05:58:57.937-05:00 Fast Five Friday<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
1 - This week has been filled with visits and seeing people. There are times this is exhausting, but it also brings a lot of joy to sit and be with people where they are.<br />
<br />
2 - The Memorial Day Parade was long and cold, but everyone on our float had a great time. Every year I am reminded how much I love being a part of it.<br />
<br />
3 - We have a summer worship schedule at our church and it is fun to see people merging from our different services and spending time with each other again.<br />
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4 - This was Scarlett's last week at her day care. They are closing and we have found a new place for her to go. We have been taking our girls there for over eight years, it is hard to say good bye.<br />
<br />
5 - Softball seasons starts this weekend - Go Comets!Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-48426002902956689172013-05-30T06:04:00.001-05:002013-05-30T06:04:23.189-05:00Being Fed - Lunch Meetings<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Today I am meeting a colleague and friend for lunch. I saw her a few weeks ago, but today we will get to sit down and chat about whatever without interruption. I am really looking forward to it.<br />
<br />
So today I am being fed in two ways - a great meal at a restaurant I have not been to before and a visit with someone who makes me laugh. With everything else going on this week, I need this time, this break, to be fed.<br />
<br />
What is feeding you today?Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-72723342350178299902013-05-29T08:18:00.001-05:002013-05-29T08:18:43.725-05:00Funny of the Week - Scarlett Waves<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Every year on Memorial day our church has a float in the parade. This has been going on for about eight years now. Sierra has been involved for a long time, Scarlett started riding on it a year ago.<br />
<br />
Last year Sierra and her friends started a Memorial Day chant. It was quite creative and would have been great, except they never stopped. That chant rang in our ears for days after the parade.<br />
<br />
This year Scarlett decided she wanted to be like her sister, so as we were riding along she would shout our "Happy Memorial Day" at the top of her lungs over and over again.<br />
<br />
And then she would wave.<br />
<br />
And not just a nice little parade wave. No, with Scarlett it had to be, well, fast.<br />
<br />
Scarlett is always on the move, always running, always fast.<br />
<br />
And so was her wave.<br />
<br />
She looked at me and said, "Daddy, see how fast I can wave?"<br />
<br />
And then boom, she would shake that hand back and forth as fast as possible. Over and over again. Always wanting to have the fastest wave around.<br />
<br />
To see a child get that much joy for waving, it fills the heart. Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-34320645288520512592013-05-28T09:24:00.001-05:002013-05-28T09:24:44.256-05:00Sing a New Song<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
Those of you who know me know that I am the "joyful noise" guy. I
love to sing, I love music, but I am not gifted at singing. Even when I
was in junior high I was asked to leave the choir because of my poor
singing ability. I didn't sing again until I was in seminary.<br />
<br />
But
now, even though I am not great at it, I sing - I sing hymns, praise
songs, and childrens songs. I even sing to VeggieTales while traveling in the truck, to the chagrin of my daughters. <br />
<br />
A number of years ago, when Sierra was a little girl, we had a little ritual we went
through. We read some books, pray and bless each other, and then she would get tucked in. Sometimes, when she was lying in bed she would ask to sing a
song. Often times this was done to delay bedtime, but who can resist
singing with a child.<br />
<br />
So we would sing, quite often we would sing
"Jesus Loves Me" or another song she has learned at church or school. But for awhile the song she liked to sing was "We are messengers." It is a call
and response song she learned at school that goes like this:<br />
<br />
We are messengers <i>we are messengers</i><br />
Messengers for God <i>messengers for God</i><br />
We can tell our friends <i>we can tell our friends</i><br />
Love one another <i>love one another</i><br />
<br />
It is a simple song, but it is a wonderful reminder of what the Christian life means.<br />
<br />
God
loves us in amazing ways, and this good news is something that is so
great we cannot keep it to ourselves. So God invites us to share that
gift, that good news, with others. And the heart of the good news is
two-fold - God loves us, and we are called to love one another.<br />
<br />
Wouldn't
it be great if that is how all of us lived our lives - loving God and
one another above all else. Imagine how the world would be if love - the
love of God and others - was what dictated the actions of all people in
the world. No more war, violence, or threats - just love, peace, and
compassion. A view of heaven maybe?<br />
<br />
So, I am going to
keep singing. It may not be pretty, it may not be on key, but it will be
a joyful noise to God. For the love of God and the love I aspire to
have with others, is something worth singing about, wouldn't you agree?Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-934368335118239922013-05-28T05:54:00.000-05:002013-05-28T05:54:10.307-05:00What I am Reading - Tony Jones<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
Tony Jones is a theologian in the Twin Cities, and I read his blog on a daily basis. While he and I may not agree on everything, he helps me see things from a different perspective. One of the things he does is take theological questions from his readers, spends a week mulling them over, then gives his answer pared with the responses the question has received on the blog. Some interesting stuff comes up.<br />
<br />
If you want to see some of his stuff, take a look at <a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/tonyjones/">http://www.patheos.com/blogs/tonyjones/</a><br />
<br />
<br />Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-6235387311183810862013-05-27T06:24:00.000-05:002013-05-27T06:24:27.177-05:00Mentors in the Faith - Mr. Anonymous<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
This week, the person I was thinking about as a mentor in the faith was someone who inspired me and helped me to grow in amazing ways. And while it was not "church" related, his actions had more to do with my journey of faith than many others.<br />
<br />
For this to make sense, one thing you need to know (if you don't already) is that I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been sober over 19 years now. My drinking career was short but furious.<br />
<br />
And Mr. Anonymous is one of the people who helped bring an end to that furious time in my life.<br />
<br />
Part of AA is the Anonymous part, so you won't get my friend's name in this post, I will just call him Mr. A. <br />
<br />
Mr. A and I were drinking buddies, and when I hit bottom and started to see I had a problem I called him. It turns out that a few months earlier he had hit bottom and realized the same thing. So he became a sober buddy with me and the two of us commiserated, supported, and walked day by day, hour by hour with each other.<br />
<br />
He is also a person that I will never be able to repay, because he was the one who picked up the phone when I called and challenged me to stay the course. <br />
<br />
For the first few years of my sobriety Mr. A and I did a lot together - going to meetings, talking on the phone, working with others who were struggling, going out and find ways to have fun without alcohol.<br />
<br />
It was a transformative time in my life, as it needed to be. And it was made easier, maybe even possible, because of Mr. A.<br />
<br />
It was also through him, and the people that he introduced me to, that I saw what true hospitality was. For any time I entered a new group or went to a new meeting, I was welcomed with open arms. I was welcomed as a lost son returning home.<br />
<br />
And over the years I was inspired by that welcoming and strive to make the church the same type of place. A place where, when a new face appears, they are welcomed in as ones who are loved, cared for, and needed.<br />
<br />
I still talk with Mr. A. He manages to call at just the right time and bless me with the strength I need. He is one of my brothers. I know that I can never repay him for what he has done for me, and a lot of my faith walk is due to the fact that he is in my life.<br />
<br />
So thank you, Mr. A, you are a true blessing to me.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-50401001172521365042013-05-26T07:20:00.000-05:002013-05-26T07:20:30.242-05:00Sunday Reflections - Micah 6<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
This week we are starting our summer sermon series. We were inspired by another pastor in the area, so we are following his lead and doing "Sermons By Request." What this means is over the past month we have been taking requests from parishioners on what they want to hear us preach on, and we received a lot of good ideas. This week the request was on Micah 6:1-8.<br />
<br />
I don't remember preaching on Micah before, and there are some wonderful passages from this prophet. So I had to do a little research as I got ready for the weekend.<br />
<br />
One of the things I learned was that Micah was called to talk to religious leaders about how they lived out their lives of faith. Micah was reminding them, calling them, to see that this relationship with God had to do with a changed heart. It wasn't about how many rams were need to atone for a sin or how much grain needed to be offered up to pay for a mistake you made. Instead it was about how you lived out your life of faith, and did your words and actions match up.<br />
<br />
And that is a good questions for us as well. Do our words and actions match up when it comes to our walk of faith? And what does it mean for me to do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with my God in my daily life?Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-80674637954475944482013-05-25T16:13:00.002-05:002013-05-25T16:13:30.152-05:00Joy of the Week - Hand in Hand<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
As I briefly mentioned in a earlier post, typically when I pick up Sierra from school, she comes running up to me, takes me hand, and we walk hand in hand back to the truck.<br />
<br />
This is a daily joy for me.<br />
<br />
Holding her little hand as it has grown over the years is one of the most parts of being a dad. It is a connection I have with her that is powerful and meaningful in so many ways.<br />
<br />
Now I know some day this ritual will come to an end, and that means I have to take advantage of it for as long as I can.<br />
<br />
For she might get too old to hold hands with her dad, but I will never be too old to hold hands with my girl.Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-76062657401399867682013-05-24T08:19:00.001-05:002013-05-24T08:19:45.321-05:00Fast Five Friday<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
1 - I get to see my oncologist this morning. I have gotten to the stage where I do not dread these meetings and I actually enjoying getting to see the staff every month. Of course, this is not a PET Scan month, so that makes it easier was well.<br />
<br />
2 - I am really glad that I have friends with a burn pile. The number of branches that have blown down over the week was huge.<br />
<br />
3 - This weekend I am preaching on Micah. I haven't ever preached on Micah before and I am excited about it.<br />
<br />
4 - Staying in touch with old friends is one of the best medicines in the world. Thanks for having a listening ear out there.<br />
<br />
5 - Last night was Sierra's spring musical, and she was sick and unable to go. It was a big disappointment but she handled it very well. I am proud of this girl! Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2715350302811661486.post-70645126503083324722013-05-23T11:36:00.000-05:002013-05-23T11:36:40.357-05:00What are you afraid of?<div style="text-align: center;">
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<br />
What are you afraid of?<br />
<br />
This week the issue of fear
has come up in a number of conversations with people, and so I have been spending some time reflecting on fear.<br />
<br />
There is a lot of fear in the world, and this fear can either
paralyze us or it can challenge us to grow.<br />
<br />
Growing up
my greatest fear was snakes - I still hate the critters. I always had a fear of being bitten (growing up in rattlesnake country) and what might
happen if I was. For a while this fear kept me from playing on the Rims
(some rock formations that surrounding Billings that were breeding
grounds for rattlers) and exploring with my friends. Because of this
fear I missed out on a lot of fun. Finally, a friend of mine pushed
me out of my comfort zone and got me up on the Rims to explore. The
snakes were still there, but if I was careful, and respected the snakes
and their space, things were fine.<br />
<br />
If we let fear
dictate our lives, we miss out on a lot. We miss new experiences, we
miss time with friends and family, we miss growing in a variety of ways.<br />
<br />
I
think one of the keys with our fears is to face them - and to do so
with the support and care of others. There is the story in the Bible where the disciples were afraid of what
might happen to them after Jesus was raised from the dead - and they
holed themselves up in a locked room - paralyzed to move. But after they
were blessed by the risen Jesus, and given the gift of the Spirit,
together they faced their fears and continued the mission, the
opportunity, that they were given to form the church.<br />
<br />
We
need to do the same thing when it comes to our fears - to gather with
others and face the fears we have. We still respect the fears - as I
respected the snakes - but we do not let the fears govern our lives. In
doing this we are freed to experience the great gifts of God in new and
exciting ways.<br />
<br />
So my question today is - what do you
fear? And how can we, the Church, the body of Christ, help you to face
those fears and continue to grow?Erik Jelinekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13379500320756068697noreply@blogger.com0