Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Roller Coaster

There are times when life really seems like a roller coaster. And I think that is especially true when you are battling illness in life.

Now to start - I am feeling great. Everything is going well, I am still very hopeful about the meds I am on and I am looking forward to Aug. 9 to get my next PET Scan and see how well the pill is working.

And yesterday was a great day. We had the day off as a family so we went out to Lake Geneva Beach and swam around all morning. Scarlett and I built a "wall" that I then sculpted into what I thought was a pretty good likeness of a human head but Sierra said was a penguin.

In the afternoon we went to a friends house to go swimming and had fresh corn for dinner (That is always a blessing!)

So it was a good day, a high on the roller coaster of life. Scarlett is even getting better at being potty trained, so life is good there too.

But then, as the evening came, I started to get some messages from people who had lost, or were in the process of losing, friends and family members to cancer.

Now this isn't news, we all know people who are dying or have died from cancer. But for some reason, yesterday it hit me. This disease sucks, and it is sucking the life out of people I know, and people who are dear to me.

Heck, it can suck the life out of me too.

So for awhile last night, things got a little dark. My mind went to that pit that it is hard to get out of. I thought of the things that I may not be around for in the lives of the girls. I thought of what I might miss with Jen. I thought about ... Well, you get the picture.

Then, early this morning, we had a storm. I mean a big, powerful, rip the tree limbs off storm.

And I was laying down, listening to the power of that storm shake the windows. And then it hit me.

It was one of those moments that just hit me.

John 3:8 - The wind blows wherever it pleases.

or, the Spirit blows wherever it pleases.

It was one of those moments where that blowing wind reminded me of the power of the Spirit, the power of God.

God was entering into my roller coaster with a wind that I could not ignore. God was coming to me, in the midst of my doubts and struggles, and reminding me that I was not alone.

Sure, I don't know what the future holds. I don't know what I will be here for and what I may miss.

But I do know that I am surrounded by the breath, the wind, the Spirit of God for every step that I do take, for every memory that I am blessed to be a part of, for every hole dug in the sand and penguin sculpted. (I really think I need to teach her more about penguins. It was a nice sculpture :)

It was in that low point that God, once again, revealed himself to me. And isn't that how it is, in those valleys, in those low points in the roller coaster, God opens our eyes to see how he is present and active. Loving us, carrying us, helping us out of the pits and embracing us with the grace we need.

So this evening the girls and I will go out and make some more memories. Not sure what we will do yet, maybe get a book on sand sculpting, but we will do something. For it is these memories that they will hold onto, and it is these memories that God will awaken in me during those dark times that will come again. Memories about the blessings we have in our lives, and how we need to treasure them every day.

So how about you go and make a memory today.

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