Thursday, July 26, 2012
This Sunday for our Adult Ed time, Jennifer and I are doing a session on "what (not) to say when people are grieving and suffering."
There are many times when people are trying to be helpful, trying to say something that is comforting in a time of sorrow, and it just comes out wrong. So we will be talking about some things we can say and do to help in situations like that.
And I would like your input as well. What are some of the worst things that were said to you when you were having a difficult time?
I'll start. When my dad had died we had two funeral services. One in Billings and one in Crete, NE where he was buried. The second service was mainly for extended family. Just before the second service started, and I mean 5 minutes before, one of dad's relatives pulled me aside and said, "I know this is a hard time for you, but you are a pastor so its not as hard for you as for us. I am concerned about your dad. He never told me that he was saved by Jesus and so I am concerned that he is in hell and not heaven. What do you think?"
The inappropriate way the question was asked, the timing, and the assumption that as a pastor I don't grieve for my dad as much as extended family grieve for him ... well, I never actually told her what I thought, because that would have meant using language I don't like to use.
So how about you, what are some of the worst things that have been said to you in tough times?